Precious Life

My husband, Al, began the chemo pills, two tablets two times a day. Three days later he began having severe muscle & joint pain. This happened on a Sunday, so I had to call the on-call oncologist. He instructed me to stop the chemo pills & come to the ER if needed. Otherwise, we were to go to the office the next day for blood work. My husband's oncologist was surprised at the side effects as they are very rare. Al has had none of the common side effects of the medication. After getting the results of the blood work, Al started back on the pills, but at half the dose - one pill two times a day. Today was his return appointment and he is now taking a dosage of two in the morning & one in the evening. If he has no recurrence of the pain in the next two weeks, he will go back to full dosage.

When Al was diagnosed with liver cancer I was half-way through a Bible study called One Minute After You Die by Erwin Lutzer. Of course, it was difficult to take these classes while waiting for my husband's diagnosis and I had not told anyone about what was suspected. Finally, I found I was just unable to complete the class after the diagnosis. However, I did complete the study at home. I found it interesting at the different reactions from class members regarding facing death. Should a Christian have only joy at the prospect of dying? We know that great things await us when we cross the veil between this world and the next. It does bring an anticipation, but God created us in such a way that life is something we fight for. When we are sick, we seek the help of a physician. When we have a serious illness, we not only turn to the our doctor, but in supplication to the Great Physician. Statements that they can hardly wait and have no apprehension towards death, make me believe there is a lack of honesty or either they are completely oblivious of things to come. If one has hypertension, they take blood pressure medication. One so ready to leave this world could speed the process by discontinuing any medications that are meant to prolong life, such as heart medication, blood pressure medication, insulin, etc. My point is, we all do what we can to live as long as possible. That does not mean we are not saved or dedicated servants of the Lord. It means we have an appreciation for the life we were given.

I know without a doubt when it comes my or my husband's time to die, that God will give us the strength to endure & remain stedfast in our trust in Him. He is sovereign.  Hallelujah!!

Continued Blessings

I am so thankful that I serve a God who truly loves me. When times are hard and I just want to crumble, He is there to hold me together.

My husband is beginning to struggle with nausea from his disease. In the 43 years we have been married, he has probably been sick from nausea and what goes along with it no more than half a dozen times, if that many. So this is something he is not use to and it is very upsetting to him. It has even delayed the start of his pill chemotherapy.

That brings me to another blessing we have received. We have good insurance and normally our prescriptions are very reasonable if not almost free. However, the chemotherapy drugs are a whole different breed of medication. I had expected we would have to pay a much larger amount than we were accustomed to paying. However, I surely wasn't prepared for what I heard from the young lady who called to give us the amount we would be responsible for. The pills cost over $8,000 for a 30 day supply. After our insurance pays, we have a co-payment of $2,258. every 30 days. Perhaps there are those who would be able to pay that with no hesitation. We are not in that group. In fact I literally broke down. The young lady was so kind and told me there are sources available to help us with this. She gave me the telephone number for the Chronic Illness Fund and instructed me to call her back after speaking with them. I immediately called. Through my brokenness I gave this young lady all the information she asked for. She then told me that he will qualify for temporary assistance for the first prescription and after we complete the required forms, he should be covered for the subsequent prescriptions. I asked how much we would now have to pay & she replied $10.00. Yes, TEN DOLLARS. What a blessing!!! God supplies our every need. I did not say our every want, but our every need. As our Lord does so many times, He waits till the need is almost a desperation. I hope you don't think that is cruel, for He is never cruel to His children. If our co-payment had been $100.00 we would have said "Ouch" and then paid it. This time we had no resource of our own to meet this need. But God did. As I was inwardly crying out to Him, He already had it under control. I am so thankful for the Chronic Illness Fund. Maybe you think the funds were available and it had nothing to do with God. Then you would be sadly mistaken, my friend. No trial or event in the life of a child of God is a coincidence. There is a purpose. To use a quote I've heard and take no credit for myself, "For when we are at our lowest, He is at His highest". I see His hand in every thing we are going through, even my husband's nausea and sickness that follows. We will all face things we are not prepared to handle ourselves. It is at those times in our lives, that we learn the greatest lesson. We must depend on Jesus.

"Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow"....... Thomas Ken

What It Means To Me

Thursday we went to see the specialist at UNC Cancer Hospital. We liked the doctor a lot. He was very warm and very frank. I feel that is how a doctor should be. I think we all knew, even before we went, what the outcome would be. My husband is not a candidate for any procedure. The doctor said his liver is very sick. He also told us that the liver disease is most likely a result of my husband's diabetes and there is current research on this because of the high rate of non-alcohol, diabetic patients with liver cancer. He even stressed the cancer is not the primary concern. He said if my husband can tolerate the pill chemo & if it is successful, it will only give him three more months added to what we were originally told. (That's less one month that has already passed while more tests were done and waiting to see the specialist.)

So strange when you think about three more months. When you are 15 & waiting to get your driver's license, three more months is forever. When you have been without a job for a year, three more months of income is like a dream. When you are awaiting the arrival of your first child, three more months is a time filled with anticipation.  So what would three more months in the life of my husband mean to me? Three more months of listening to his truck coming into the driveway. Three more months of seeing him with our children and grandchildren. Three more months of all the silly things he does to make me laugh (and believe me, there are lots of those). Three more months to sit beside me on the left-fourth-pew-from-the-front at church. I could probably go on forever listing things. What would three more months mean? Everything!

So if God grants us these additional months, I will be so thankful. If He doesn't, I will be thankful for the time we do have. I know whatever God's plan, it will be what's best for my husband. I know that because God promises to work all things together for good for those who love Him. And my husband loves Him.

Emotional Week

It's been an emotional week for me. I have been up and down. I guess this is to be expected. It seems so strange to look at my husband and not see the strength that I'm so use to seeing. I mean the physical strength. I know how frustrating that is for him. He had been asked to build the stage for our Christmas Cantata/Drama at church, as he does each year. He wants to do it. The desire is there, but I'm not sure the physical ability will be. I don't think people understand how hard it is to have to give up something you've done for years because you are no longer able to physically do it. My husband is a "behind the scenes" person. What he does, he does without fanfare. He wants no praise. He considers it his ministry for the Lord and our church. I'm praying that God will give him the strength to at least help get things ready this year.

This week we will go to UNC Medical Center, Chapel Hill, NC to see a specialist. This consultation will determine if he is a candidate for a procedure that might destroy some of the tumors in his liver. If he is, then he must make the decision whether he will take the risk of the procedure or return to our hometown and receive pill chemotherapy. There is a possibility he will have to have these treatments even if he has the procedure.

So my mind is going in a hundred directions. Only God is holding me together. I know that His ways are higher than mine. His love for me & for my husband is giving me assurance that no matter which treatment will be the ultimate one, it will be His will. His will! His glory!! I know so many wonder how all this can be for His glory, but it is. We may not see it today, but we will. I have prayed so many times that whatever it took, even my life, to get the attention of my loved ones & bring them back to God, I was willing to give. I never considered I might have to give my husband. I would gladly take his place. As in my previous post, it was not what I expected.

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed: for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10 KJV

Not What I Expected, But God's Timing

My title is very much an understatement. Oct 28, 2011 I retired from a surgical practice after 24 years. That in itself made it an emotional day. When you spend 8 hours a day, five days a week with a group of ladies & doctors, you become a family. At least, you do if you were blessed, as I was, to work with and for great people. You leave part of your heart there. I had given a four week notice to give them time to decide how my duties would be carried on & by whom. The excitement and anticipation of being able to be home, spend more time with my husband (who is already retired), get some much needed exercise, and have time to do more for the Lord & my church was growing. Then it happened. What I had never expected.

Two weeks before my retirement, my husband began to have some health issues. Our medical doctor is very persistent and tests were ordered, results questioned, and more tests performed. Less than one hour after my goodbyes to my work family, the most precious person in my life was diagnosed with inoperable hepatocellular carcinoma (liver cancer). If you are ever diagnosed with fatty infiltration of the liver & are told to lose weight, LOSE WEIGHT. The consequences of not taking it seriously can be deadly. There was also a question if the cause was toxic as my husband worked with different chemicals for many years at his employment. So now my retirement takes on an entirely different focus. Of course there are more tests to check other organs of the body. Then there will be the decision of what treatment he will undergo and where. And there was the question he asked first, "How long?" We have the doctor's estimate, but we know it is all up to God.

Our God is truly amazing. He knew when I decided (or at least I thought I was the one deciding) it was time to leave a job I loved, that I would have much more important things to do. He knew I would need every second possible to spend with the man I've been married to for over 43 years. He knew that my husband would need me far more than any employer ever could. God's timing. Although my heart is breaking at the thought of losing the man I love, I have to accept that God is in complete control of our lives, and even now He could choose to heal him completely. I do believe that God still heals. But no matter the outcome, I know that Jesus will give us the strength we need to get through whatever might come.

A precious friend who has been through chemotherapy & irradiation for lymphoma told me that before she went for each visit, procedure, infusion/treatment, she repeated Psalm 71:16 "I go in the strength of the Lord God...." I shared that with my husband. I hope it comforts him. It has already conforted me.

So to answer the most asked question after one retires - "Is retirement what you expected?" - the answer is an emphatic NO. It's not what I expected, but it's God's timing.

Clinging To God

This has been one of the most trying weeks of my life. Can't go in to details at this time. Later I will share.

I know we have all had times in our lives when we just wanted to get alone somewhere, in the middle of nowhere, and cry till we had no tears left, but for one reason or another we couldn't afford ourselves that luxury. You have to trust me that I've had to cling to God for the past few days. We have all seen a little child, whether ours or someone else's, clinging to the legs of his/her mommy or daddy. That's what it's been like for me. Honestly, I can picture me so small with my arms wrapped around His legs, His bare feet showing beneath His robe. There is fear in my eyes, desperation, as I look up to Him for comfort. He looks down at me, and gently touches my hair. I can see the answer to my question in His eyes. I'm not meant to immediately understand the reasons for or timing of some events in my life. He will show me when He feels I'm ready to see. That's really all I need for now. One step at a time, as He holds my hand.

Peace In The Midst Of The Storm

I wonder how many posts have been made on blogs about Hurricane Irene? I'm going to add mine as well. No pictures (although I have some), just thoughts.

We all probably have different views of the fierce lady who visited North Carolina & the states north of us. She left her mark on the homes & lives of many people, many of my friends. My heart goes out to each of them and my prayers are with them all.

As a child we lived in a flood zone. When a hurricane was coming into our area, we would put our furniture up on cement blocks, saw horses & planks, anything to keep it out of the river water's reach. Then we would stay with relatives who lived in a higher area till the storm was over. I was so afraid back then, but never once did the water come into our home. It had flooded that area many times before we moved there. It has flooded it many times since we lived there, and during the hurricanes Bertha & Fran it devastated the area. I don't know why God held back the waters when He did. I don't know why He released them when He did. That is for His infinite wisdom.

I was really not afraid during this storm, even though there are some huge trees next door to us. Irene just seemed to go on and on.  Her relentless pounding! I stood in the doorway between my kitchen and living room, looking out the back windows at the sweeping rain, every tree & bush in sight swaying. I have to tell you, I was mesmerized. I don't even know how long I stood there, lost in the power of what was going on all around me. Even though the trees were being whipped by wind & rain, there was almost a gracefulness to their motion. I'm sure there are many who would say if I'd seen it from their view, I wouldn't feel that way. I'm sure they are right. But from where I stood, it was an awesome thing to see.  I knew that God was in control. I knew that only three words were needed, "Peace, be still." You may be asking yourself, "Why didn't God speak them?". Oh, but He did. He spoke them to me. My soul was completely at peace.

I don't know what the next storm might bring, and there will be more storms. If you choose to live in eastern North Carolina you will go through storms. No matter what the outcome, I only need those three little words to calm my soul in the midst of the storm. "Peace, be still."

The Eyes

Each of us has a sense of longing within. We usually see so many people in a days time, each with a longing within their soul. Do we look at the people we encounter each day? I mean really look at them? Do we look at the clothes or the skin and immediately decide that we know all we need to? Do we look at the eyes? Looking into the eyes is taking a risk. The eyes tell so much about the longing within. It's safer not to look, not to know. If we don't look, we won't be moved. If we aren't moved, we won't have to act on what we've seen or feel guilty for doing nothing.

More often than not, I am surely the most guilty of this very thing. However, a few months ago I met a lady who had recently lost her son. In her eyes I saw all the pain that she was trying to keep inside. I saw the longing to just understand. I saw the need for reassurance that her son was in the arms of Jesus. I had actually met this lady before - when she was carrying that child within her. Here she was before me 23 years later. Her eyes locked onto mine and my heart locked onto hers. I put my arms around her and cried with her. Not a huge thing. Just a few minutes of my day. If I had not taken the risk of looking into her eyes, I would have missed a most precious moment in time.

Today as you go your way, take the time to look at those you meet. Don't pass by with downcast eyes. Take the risk of seeing what's before you. You may find that the greatest blessing will be yours.

The Beauty Of It All

Have you ever just stepped out into the beauty of this world and been truly overwhelmed by it? Sometimes I find it breath-taking. The brilliance of a huge white cloud on a canvas of pure blue. It seems to be frozen in time and I'm frozen in that moment with it. I find myself searching for the face of the Creator.

What the Garden must have been like! Peace, beauty beyond anything we've seen. To walk in the cool of the evening & commune with our God. Sometimes I feel I have a glimpse - just a glimpse - of the peace that was there before evil abounded.

But Evil did enter and things were not as clear as before. Our view of God's promises became obscured by the weight of our sins. Death invaded our world. Even then the Light beckoned us to focus on Him. Oh, but it's so much harder to find when Evil goes before.

The day will come when, like the rays of the sun breaking behind the cloud, His love will break through the darkness we've become. Be ready when the Light breaks.

Until that glorious day arrives, give praise to Elohiym! Hold on to the beauty of it all; for now, it's all we have.

(After reading this please go back & double click to enlarge each picture to full page, to see the full effect of my intention in using each one & to marvel at the beauty our God has given us until He returns.)

Looking Up

Lately I have become absolutely fascinated with clouds. Not like when I was little, trying to find animal shapes in every one I saw, but in the simple beauty of each one. Like snowflakes each one is unique. I first began really paying attention when I was leaving church one evening & the clouds over the steeple were breath-taking. 

So began my real love for God's day 2 creation, "And God called the firmament Heaven." Genesis 1:8a. I began taking pictures of anything interesting I saw in the sky. Sometimes I look at the sky and I can almost hear the trumpet call. "For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord." I Thessalonians 4:16, 17.

Not all clouds are fair & peaceful. Some are dark and angry. My mind's eye goes to God's judgment, for I Thessalonians 4:16, 17 speaks of the redeemed of the Lord. What of those who are not caught up with Him in the air at the trumpet's call? Do not be deceived into the mindset that a God of love would never bring His wrath on those He created. He is the God of love, but also the God of righteous judgment. "And the seventh angel poured out his vial into the air; and there came a great voice out of the temple of heaven, from the throne, saying, It is done. And there were voices, and thunders, and lightnings;" Revelation 16:17, 18a

                                                                                                          

But I am secure in the promise of Jesus, "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also." John 14:2,3

   

So I will keep looking up, anticipating. I think I am beginning to long for home.

                                              WHEN A CLOUD VANISHES IT IS GONE

                                                      MUCH LIKE THE LIFE OF MAN

                                         THE CLOUD MOVED BY THE BREATH OF GOD

                                                 LIFE GUIDED BY HIS UNSEEN HAND

                                                                                                   Shirley S. Jerome

                                                                                                   Copyright 2011

In The Trash Bag

Didn't realize it had been so long since I posted on my blog. Just haven't been in the blogging mode, I guess. Now that I'm here?????

Took a week off from work to do some much needed craft clean out, throw out, pass on to others. Was quite proud of myself that I was really able to let go of so much, but still more to do.

Funny what you learn about people by what they save. What do you hang onto? I hear people say they never keep anything they don't use all the time. I can't imagine that. I'm one of those mothers/grandmothers that still has the kindergarten announcements for each child & grandchild. I know one day they, too, will go in the trash bag. But not now. Not yet. It makes me smile to read the little stories and poems, even though the thoughts were all jumbled together. I touch the locks of hair from each of my children & see their little faces before the locks were cut. I run my hand across the leather cover of my daddy's Bible and remember when we gave it to him. I read the handwritten poems in my mother's notebook and long to talk to her. I hold my granddaddy's wire rim glasses & picture his children gathered around him while he reads the Bible. These little things have made me who I am. They will be handed down to those I leave behind. Then it will be up to them to decide which memories go in the trash bag. I can imagine the roll of the eyes & the "Gee, thanks Mom."  I think God will let me look down on that, and with a little chuckle I'll say. "Oh, you're sooo welcome."

A Peaceful Place

With all the stress and tension that life seems to produce these days, a peaceful place is a priceless treasure. When I was a teen there was a river about 2 blocks from my house. There was a boat landing there but it was used mostly on Saturdays. So many times I would go there just to sit and think, to let the cares of teen life float away with the twig I tossed into the water. I miss that little place by the river. The boat landing is no longer there.

Last fall, at a neighborhood reunion, I took this picture at a park near our old neighborhood. 

We all long for a place of solitude. I wonder why I haven't been back with my chair and a book. I keep telling myself when I retire, I will. Why do I put off the things that offer me a time when the Lord can speak to me? My days are filled with rushing, my ears filled with the noise of confusion, and all the time this place of quiet rest awaits. I knew when I stood there taking this picture, I was looking at God's Word.

"Fore thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river...." Isaiah 66:12a KJV

Words That Will Bless

Not my words, although I would like to think that God uses my words to bless someone else. I'm referring to an old hymn. If you have seen My Favorite Songs list, you've seen the first one is Come Thou Fount (of Every Blessing). This is a beautiful old hymn, and I do mean old. It was written in 1758 in Norfolk, England by a 23 year old preacher  (although some sources give the date of 1757 and his age as 22). His name was Robert Robinson. He wrote the song to use with his sermon on Pentecost Sunday. It has blessed hearts for over 250 years. I love the melody written by John Wyeth, although I prefer it slower than it's 3/4 timing. I like it slower because the words really sink in when it's done that way. Have you ever heard this song? If so, have you taken the time to really read the words? Not only is it poetic in its old English style, it is a song of praise, thanksgiving, and surrender to God. There are many, many beautiful songs echoing throughout the earth in praise to God, but none that can compare with this old hymn. Next time when you are at a church service, providing they have the old hymnals, look up Come Thou Fount, and you will find words that bless.
 You can find many versions on You Tube, but Fernando Ortega does one of the best. He's added some bridges of his own, but the integrity of the song remains.

 

Time Is Flying

Saturday, March 12, 2011. Boy, how time flies! Did your mother tell you that the older you got the faster time went? You thought she was crazy, didn't you? I did when mine said that. How can time go faster? The earth is turning at the same rate; be serious!  Well, here I am now watching time fly.
My oldest daughter is the age I should be and my youngest granddaughter is the age my son should be. Instead my son is getting married in 3 weeks and I'm thinking about retiring. Mama was sooo right.


Still there are things I want to do, places I want to go, people I want to help, Christ's love I want to share, grandchildren I want to love. God lets me know every day, He's not through with me yet. He puts people in my path (or on my computer) that need someone to love them & care what happens to them. Sometimes just a word can make all the difference in a life.


So time moves on - swiftly - and I'm running (limping, dragging, gasping) to keep up till God is through with me.  A little more time, please Lord.

NATURE SINGS HIS MAJESTY

                    Nature sings His majesty
                    From snow laden trees
                    To pastures green
                    To crashing waves of foamy seas

                    Nature sings His majesty
                    From skies of brightest blue
                    To darkness of moonless night
                    To freshness of morning dew

                   Nature sings His majesty

                   From endless grains of sand

                   To mountains regal heights

                   To canyons carved through land

                   Nature sings His majesty

                   From babbling brooks

                   To rock strewn hills

                   To forest paths of innate crooks

                   From shifting desert floors

                   To river, ocean, sea

                   All creation joins as

                   Nature sings His majesty

                                       Shirley S. Jerome

                                       Copyright 2011

                 

To Transcend Time And Choose

Have you ever taken your status in life and transcended time to walk the streets of Jerusalem when Jesus was there? Just as you are today, what would you have been then?

I've thought about that many times. As I am considered middle class American, what position in society would I have held at the time? I see myself as a simple peasant, one of the multitude who sat listening to His teachings. As I had a hunger for God even as a child, I would not have been able to resist hearing what this Man had to say. Being the mother of three, I would have taken my children with me ( which would have proven a challenge with the third, a rambunctious little boy). Would Jesus have noticed that my little one was becoming a distraction? Surely the disciples would have noticed. Would Jesus have taken my child upon His knee & kissed his auburn hair? Would He have drawn my girls to His side to look lovingly in their faces? This is the dream I have if I could walk those streets when Jesus was there. For I know this would have changed not only my life, but the lives of my children.

But there is also another choice I would have had. As a wife & mother, I would have had no time for storytellers. I would have thought it foolish to expect three young children to sit for such a period of time. Although there may have been some interest kindled within me about this Man & the claim that He was the Messiah, I would have pushed it aside and went on with my daily chores. Forever missing the blessing of hearing & believing.

It's a sobering thought. To choose to let Him change you or to remain as you are. Either way will have an impact on the lives of your children. Either way will mean death. Yes, that's right. To choose to follow Him condemns you as it did Him, but with the promise of eternal life. To choose to remain as you are, insures your death & condemnation for eternity.

Transcend time & make your choice.

To Shatter The Earth

Wondering what to really write about tonight. Nothing earth-shattering happening. Is that good or bad? I guess it would depend upon what was shattering my earth. Should there be anything shattering my earth?
That's an interesting, complex question, isn't it? I think the better question would be, am I doing anything to shatter the earth?

Does God expect me to be sharing His Gospel in such a way that it would shatter the earth? Can you imagine just how earth-shattering it would be, if every Christian was sharing the Gospel every day, every where they went? What holds us back? Actually, what holds me back? Fear of being ridiculed? You would think at my age that would be of little concern. Fear of confrontation? Certainly Christ will give me what I need to say when I need to say it. Fear of offending someone even if I share in a caring way? Christ Himself was considered an offense, therefore I am to be willing to also be an offence. I'm not talking about being obnoxious, but straight forward.

I feel that I am a pebble bouncing on the ground instead of the boulder crashing through the thicket. The boldness I need escapes me. Yet, it was a stone that slew the giant.(I Sam 17:49)  It is a small helm that turns the ship.(James 3:4)  It is a soft answer that turns away wrath.(Prov 15:1) Could a pebble possibly shatter the earth? If guided into the right position and with a mighty force behind it, I believe it could. Is there any better guide than Christ? Is there any greater force than our God? So, Lord, take this pebble and hurl it forth with your mighty right arm that it may shatter the earth with the message of You.

The DNA of Scripture

Did you know that Scripture has DNA? Another light came on tonight while I was studying my Sunday School lesson. (Hope no one from my class reads this till after Sunday.)

We all now know about DNA. That marvelous thread that makes us who we are and yet unites us as the human race. Scientists have already admitted there is a common ancestor for man, (although some of them still insist that we crawled out of the murky swamps & evolved into the intelligent beings we are today). But there is that common thread of life that runs through us all. That common thread is found in Scripture, as well.
There is the physical thread of life and the Scriptural thread of life. Confused? I hope I can explain what I mean.

The physical thread of life, running from Adam & Eve, winding its way through generation after generation and into all generations to come. Oh, but the Scriptural thread of life is even more astounding! After the fall of man & God pronounces His most severe curse/judgment on the serpent, He states in Genesis 3:15 KJV "And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel." This is not just speaking of the serpent that was used by Satan. This is a promise that the seed of a woman will conquer Satan once & for all. So the Scriptural DNA begins to wind it's way through prophecy after prophecy to the birth of Christ. For Christ was the seed of a woman, not that of a man. Christ's death & resurrection continues the Scriptural DNA as it runs forward to Revelation chapter 12. As Christ has ascended into heaven, Satan turns his wrath on the woman who gave birth to Him - not Mary, but Israel. Still that thread of Scriptural DNA is moving until we see the final destruction of Satan in Revelation 20:10, fulfilling the promise made in Genesis 3:15. But just as the physical DNA continues in the lives of generations to come, so the Scriptural DNA continues in the promise of life everlasting for those who claim the name of Jesus.  Hallelujah! Amen!!  Do you see it?

Willing To Give It All

Tonight was the first meeting of our Willing Workers Weekend at church. We have this each year. It gives those who attend, especially the newer members, a list of all the areas of service we have & it encourages them to see what area they feel God would have them serve in. We had a pretty good attendance. Some were not able to attend tonight, but will be there tomorrow. That will be the time when we learn more details about the different ministries.

Tonight we watched a short film about the day Jim Elliott & his team died in the Amazon, killed by the tribe to whom they had come to witness. Five men. They had guns, but chose not to use them. They had previously decided they would not use their guns on the people they were there to help, even if it meant their lives. The reason they gave - "We are ready to die and they are not." And die they did, but certainly not in vain. The wives of some of these men went to the very people who had killed their husbands & began a ministry there. Many were saved and the tribe is no longer fierce and pagan.  If you've never read the story of Jim Elliott, Nate Saint, and the three other brave missionaries, be sure to read the book, End Of The Spear. It will surely touch your heart. There is also a movie, but being a reader, I went for the book. I'm sure you can also find the story on the Internet. This month was the 55th anniversary of the end of their lives here on earth and the beginning of their lives with Christ.

We have much admiration for men like those, who would give their all for someone who hated them. That's exactly what Christ did. He gave everything for a world that hated Him. Now, some 2000 + years later, we see that He is still hated. But not by all, my friends. Every day there are more & more who are realizing He is the only way & choosing to give their all to Him and for Him. What about you? Where do you stand? You know you will have to make a choice. You don't know when your time will come to an end. Waiting may not be an option. So what will you do with Jesus?

Excerpt From My Journal (7/13/2004)

"Strange how we are affected by our dreams. Some are gone with our waking. Others never leave. How will those that linger change our lives? My dream, sometime between sleep on 7/10 and waking on 7/11, has remained with me. I am faced with the fear each time I remember. Not just the fear of pain, but the fear of shame. My dream took me back to a younger age, back to the little church in my neighborhood. This scene was not one from my past. There beside the church was a mobile guillotine, although I never saw the blade itself. There were about six young girls my age standing side by side - waiting - waiting to die for the name of Christ. And I was hiding. My fear of dying was overshadowed by my fear of being a disappointment to Jesus. I kept asking myself how I was going to react when I was captured. Would I cry and beg for my life? A part of me feared that I would. I turned and looked at the girls, patiently waiting to die. No tears. No shame. I wondered if I would have that peace when it was my turn. I asked God to please let me have that peace when it was my turn.

Now I think about how many times I have walked past that church when I was the age in my dream.I guess it is only natural that in a dream about being that age, I would go back to where I was at that time. I was approximately the age when I was saved, 15. I have really thought about what it would be like to know that your stand for Christ would mean your death. Our freedom to worship has always been so secure, but that is changing. For forty years it's been slowly turning. Now the turn is much more rapid, and I'm not sure it can be stopped. I think we face an evil we never believed would come to us. An evil that is destroying the foundation of our nation. An evil that will make us choose life and shame or death and Christ. But to die for Christ is to live with Christ."

It's been about six and a half years since I had that dream & recorded it in my journal. I have seen even more changes taking our nation and world further & further away from God. I believe time is very short. As these past years have strengthened me spiritually, I look forward to seeing my Lord. My fear is for those I love who are not prepared to meet Him.  So what do we who are ready do when we have those we love who are not?  We must not cease praying, while accepting that the ultimate choice is not ours, but is that of those for whom we pray.   "....The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." James 6:16b KJV  "Even so, come, Lord Jesus." Revelation 22:20b KJV