What It Means To Me

Thursday we went to see the specialist at UNC Cancer Hospital. We liked the doctor a lot. He was very warm and very frank. I feel that is how a doctor should be. I think we all knew, even before we went, what the outcome would be. My husband is not a candidate for any procedure. The doctor said his liver is very sick. He also told us that the liver disease is most likely a result of my husband's diabetes and there is current research on this because of the high rate of non-alcohol, diabetic patients with liver cancer. He even stressed the cancer is not the primary concern. He said if my husband can tolerate the pill chemo & if it is successful, it will only give him three more months added to what we were originally told. (That's less one month that has already passed while more tests were done and waiting to see the specialist.)

So strange when you think about three more months. When you are 15 & waiting to get your driver's license, three more months is forever. When you have been without a job for a year, three more months of income is like a dream. When you are awaiting the arrival of your first child, three more months is a time filled with anticipation.  So what would three more months in the life of my husband mean to me? Three more months of listening to his truck coming into the driveway. Three more months of seeing him with our children and grandchildren. Three more months of all the silly things he does to make me laugh (and believe me, there are lots of those). Three more months to sit beside me on the left-fourth-pew-from-the-front at church. I could probably go on forever listing things. What would three more months mean? Everything!

So if God grants us these additional months, I will be so thankful. If He doesn't, I will be thankful for the time we do have. I know whatever God's plan, it will be what's best for my husband. I know that because God promises to work all things together for good for those who love Him. And my husband loves Him.