Emotional Week

It's been an emotional week for me. I have been up and down. I guess this is to be expected. It seems so strange to look at my husband and not see the strength that I'm so use to seeing. I mean the physical strength. I know how frustrating that is for him. He had been asked to build the stage for our Christmas Cantata/Drama at church, as he does each year. He wants to do it. The desire is there, but I'm not sure the physical ability will be. I don't think people understand how hard it is to have to give up something you've done for years because you are no longer able to physically do it. My husband is a "behind the scenes" person. What he does, he does without fanfare. He wants no praise. He considers it his ministry for the Lord and our church. I'm praying that God will give him the strength to at least help get things ready this year.

This week we will go to UNC Medical Center, Chapel Hill, NC to see a specialist. This consultation will determine if he is a candidate for a procedure that might destroy some of the tumors in his liver. If he is, then he must make the decision whether he will take the risk of the procedure or return to our hometown and receive pill chemotherapy. There is a possibility he will have to have these treatments even if he has the procedure.

So my mind is going in a hundred directions. Only God is holding me together. I know that His ways are higher than mine. His love for me & for my husband is giving me assurance that no matter which treatment will be the ultimate one, it will be His will. His will! His glory!! I know so many wonder how all this can be for His glory, but it is. We may not see it today, but we will. I have prayed so many times that whatever it took, even my life, to get the attention of my loved ones & bring them back to God, I was willing to give. I never considered I might have to give my husband. I would gladly take his place. As in my previous post, it was not what I expected.

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed: for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10 KJV