Praising Through the Grief

On March 24, 2012 at 7:05 a.m. by my clock, Jesus took my husband's hand and lead him through the veil from this world to the next. No more pain. No more suffering. He's worshipping before the Father.

The night before my husband died, my children and I met with our pastor to discuss the service we wanted as I knew time was short. Our pastor handled that so beautifully and made it so much easier for my children. Although my husband died on the 24th, we held the service till the 30th to give any of his out-of-state family who could come time to get here.

I have never been in a memorial service like this. Not because it was for my husband, although that is certainly true. This service was unique. The support from family, friends, church family, coworkers of my children, my former coworkers and employers, and my husband's former coworkers was truly overwhelming. We were so touched by the outpouring of love. The men I chose to speak were men who loved and respected my husband. My husband also loved and respected them - our former pastor for almost 22 years, one of our dear friends, a current deacon who has helped us tremendously in recent days, our current assistant pastor, and our current pastor. Each man had something unique only to them to say about my husband and yet it was so obvious they all knew him so well. 

The songs chosen by my youngest daughter to be played, Go Rest High on that Mountain,http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=WtmAVGPEPSI&list=PL71E1745B07382D23
and Daddy's Hands, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF_fli5SmbY&feature=player_detailpage
and the You-Tube version of the newer Jesus Saves suggested by our pastor because it was one of my husband's favorites  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=RwZqhx8eSN4, could not have been more appropriate. I must say that I became most emotional during the song, Jesus Saves, and I had to lift my hands in praise to the God of all creation. The list of some of the memories each of our children had of their dad read by the pastor brought laughter & some tears.

The items we chose to go on the memorial table also told so much about this man I loved. The red, white & blue flower arrangement & the American flag because he was a loyal American and "once a Marine always a Marine". The little statues my children had given their daddy one Father's Day - the father & little daughter hugging, from my oldest daughter; the large hand holding the tiny hand, from my youngest daughter; the father in his baseball cap with his arms around his son as he shows him how to hold the baseball bat, from, of course, my son.

The book The Little Lost Lamb and a little stuffed lamb held a dual meaning for my son in memories of his dad. The appreciation plaque the church presented my husband for his diligence in keeping an eye on how things were being done when our new sanctuary & fellowship hall were built.

The "Attaboy" plaque presented to him by the Tuesday Night Men's Bible Study for all the behind the scene things he did.

These sound like simple things don't they? He was a simple man who sought no recognition from this world, though he earned it. If he was your friend, he was your friend for life. He may not always agree with you, and he usually told you, but he never held it against you. He loved his God, his family, his church, and his friends.

I chose to have his service closed with a congregational praise song, another of my husband's favorites, Days of Elijah. I wanted everyone to understand that my heart was praising God, too. Not face to face yet, but still praising. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HDJ3xyvjMU&feature=player_detailpage

Today we held his graveside service. Just as we arrived at the memorial park, it began to pour rain. Dutifully the little band of very young Marines exited their bus and stood at attention. We had them do their honors first although they would have stood there the entire time. The sound of the gun salute and taps has never been more stirring. I hope that young Marine who presented the flag to me could see in my eyes how much I love every one of them. I believe he knew. I asked him to thank them for me and as he saluted me, with our eyes locked, I whispered, "God bless you". Thank God we still have young men like those. My oldest grandson will soon join the ranks of very young Marines.

I know there will be some difficult days to come. I miss Al so much already. I know when my time comes he will be waiting saying, "Here she comes." So I choose to praise through the grief. I hope you can, as well.