I can't believe it's been 3 months since my last post. I always feel that God has to give me something to say, otherwise, it's pointless to try to write.
To catch everyone up on the past 3 months, I am slowly getting into a routine again. Quite a different routine, but I'm getting there none the less. There have been lots of ups and downs and I know it will be that way for a long time to come, maybe always. If so, I will live with that.
God has blessed me in more ways than I could ever name. Guess that's why they say "Count your blessings instead of sheep". Either you will fall asleep or you'll be awake all night making a list. I have loving children and grandchildren, good friends, and a wonderful church family. Most of all I have a Heavenly Father that is with me every minute of every day. Wow! I hope you can say that, too.
After my husband died, security was a concern for me. I had every intention of buying a hand gun (and I may have), but for some odd reason my children preferred that I get a dog. Actually they told me they were afraid I'd accidently shoot one of them. Hmmmm, can't imagine why they would think that. I love dachsunds and that's what I intended to get. However, in visiting the Pet Finder sight I saw the face of a dog that immediately stole my heart. So I adopted Marcus.
By the way, I did not name him. Maybe he was named for the brave soul, to whom I am eternally grateful, who rescued him from the flood waters of Hurricane Irene. So now I am owned by a 53 lb, German Shepherd mix. No, I didn't make a mistake. Anyone with a dog or dogs, knows they own you. Your life will revolve around their needs and wants. At least until you get a grip on balance. I'm not there yet. haha
My doggie came with some baggage. Namely PTSD when it thunders. Not just the routine trembling or wanting to be near you, but flat out terror. To the point, of trying to force his big self into the opening of the cat litter box, or jumping on top of the washer/dryer or the kitchen counter. Now he has a crate, and mild sedation when needed.
Recently my son & daughter-in-law took a trip to Ireland. While they were away, I kept their boxer/lab mix, Indy. Marcus loves having her here. She is nonstop energy and brings a little mischief. One day I was doing some work at the church, coming home periodically to take them outside, but my last trip up lasted longer than I'd planned. When I returned home, I opened my door to a real surprise. My living room floor was covered with shredded paper, a mutilated book, which I first thought to be my Bible, some chewed items of clothing, and the mail I'd received earlier in the day including my now destroyed Bible Archaeology Review magazine.
I had a complete meltdown. I kept repeating, "What have you done?". I think I was actually expecting an answer. What I got was two dogs looking at me in total bewilderment. I went into my kitchen, cried, & literally screamed until I was hoarse. Good thing my neighbor was at work. I felt so much better afterward. I tell that jokingly, but God uses all kinds of things to get us to the point we need to be. I had held in so much grief and frustration since my husband's death, and the day before my daughter and I had cleaned out his little truck. This was the first time I had allowed myself to release all that. After cleaning up the mess, salvaging my mail, giving the dogs some hugs (after a time out period, of course), and getting some kisses from each one, all was right with the world.
 |
| Time Out |
However, three days later I got out of bed & entered the livingroom to find Marcus happily chewing up the phone book. I just stared him down and then cleaned up the parts he had ripped off. So far, so good. No more destruction.
The morning after my meltdown, my cousin came to pick up my husband's old truck. It was not nearly as difficult as I had expected it to be. In fact, it has made things much easier not seeing it sitting in the driveway every day.
So I am trying hard to move on and adjust to my life with just my dog & cats. Our ladies at church are doing a wonderful Beth Moore Bible study on the book of Daniel. Our Sunday School class is also doing the Kay Arthur study on the book of Acts. There is much to keep me occupied and I am thankful for that. There is progress being made on the repairs of my house. One day soon, I hope to see that completed. I have lots of projects planned. Hopefully the heat & rain will abate and allow me to actually do some of them.
Thank you to those who have prayed for me and please continue to do so. I hope to be posting a little more frequently. Have to go for now and soon take Marcus to the vet. See! I told you!
